Draft 1.3 Assignment
|Works Cited||6 Items (Minimum), MLA|
|Due||Tue, Feb 14, by midnight|
|Turned in where?||Blackboard (upload file), Interactive Web (copy and paste), and bring to class (printout)|
For Draft 1.3 revise parts of Draft 1.2 that I have recommended and (maybe) your peers have suggested, expand your Works Cited to at least 6 items in MLA Works Cited format, and increase the draft to 1200 words.
Draft 1.1 was a “brainstorming draft”, and Draft 1.2 was a “structuring draft”. Draft 1.3 is the final draft in your first essay cycle (Essay Cycle I) and should be a “clean copy” draft. (Please read the criteria for the clean-copy draft in that link.)
The main thing you should do for this Draft 1.3 is to read your draft out loud before you turn it in. Student writers tend to make sloppy errors and produce very awkward text that they would normally fix easily if they caught the awkward parts, but their eyes miss them. But their ears — your ears — will catch the awkward parts almost every time.
Just add on to what I already have and make it 1200 word.
ALSO HERE IS THE FEEDBACK FROM MY PROFESSOR PLEASE TAKE THIS INTO ACCOUNT WHEN FIXING THIS PAPER.
What I’m evaluating in draft 1.2 is a strong and engaging first sentence, a first paragraph that tells the reader what you are writing about and why, paragraphs that have a point and particular structure, and above all, a correctly formatted works cited with corresponding in-text citations.
The most important paragraph in your draft is the first paragraph, and the most important sentence in your draft is the first sentence. You want to avoid what I call “fluff,” the sorts of everyday comments that people are already well aware of. Remember, you are writing to a college-educated reader who doesn’t need to be informed of things the reader already knows and understands. In that first sentence, try to get across something truly significant about your topic. For this topic, you should start out by giving the reader strong statistics about something like teenage births in this country, the decline in healthcare and abortion services for women, or something that will grab the reader with a sense of significance. Simply saying to the college educated reader that there’s a massive debate going on and some generalities about how long America had strict abortion rights or not does not tell the educated reader anything new or engage him or her in the way that you want.
MLA in text citations are different from APA in text citations. MLA in text citations normally use the author’s last name and the page number on which you found the information, not the date of the article. If there is no author, then you should use the first three words of the title In quotation marks followed by the page number. If there is no page number, then simply use the author’s last name or the first three words of the article title in quotation marks. The first word of your in-text citation must match the first word in your corresponding works cited entry. The page number, if there is one, is not proceeded by a comma or any punctuation. This formatting is a very important in this course.
This essay cycle is supposed to emphasize the background and history of your issue. As I say above, there is nothing wrong with engaging your reader, drawing your reader in by mentioning a current “crisis” that is affecting the society as a whole; but remember that it is your second essay cycle in which you will engage in the current crisis. The more you talk about the current things in this cycle, the less you will have to talk about in your second cycle in a couple weeks. I find it far too much of the information in this background and history essay cycle should be saved for your next essay cycle. If you don’t take some of this out and save it for the next essay cycle, you will be evaluated poorly for this assignment.
Are there things about abortion, significant things, that occurred in the past? Of course. Were women getting abortions in the 19th century? Were they getting abortions in the early 20th century? What was it that brought about Roe V Wade? What was the thinking in the country that change the country’s mind on abortions? I remember growing up that there were a number of movies (“love with a proper stranger” and “Blue Denim” were the most controversial) about women who were forced to get illegal abortions. It’s my belief that such movies created a gathering cultural awareness of the hardship it was on young people especially when out of wedlock pregnancy was considered a great shame for the woman but at the same time there was no way out other than illegal and dangerous behavior. This is what you should be looking into, the number of illegal abortions throughout the period before Roe V Wade. And also, the religious objections throughout the 19th and 20th century to “taking the life,” although I’ve always wondered why this objection didn’t apply to the death penalty or bombing civilian populations.
So the point is that you don’t want to talk about current problems except in a brief sentence or two at the beginning to establish the legitimacy of the issue you are dealing with. So I think you’re going to have to pull a number of these points out of this particular cycle and save them for the second cycle, are you will simply be in the wrong place for what you are writing and researching about.
In text citations and works cited entries must link up with each other, and that link is the first word in both. If the works cited entry is an author’s last name, then your in text citation must start with that author’s last name. If the works cited entry is an article title in quotation marks, then your in text citation must start with the first three words of the article citation in quotation marks.
Your works cited is incorrect. The problem may be in the title, in the line spacing (should be double spacing throughout), and the hanging indentation, and what you are putting in quotation marks and italicizing, or with the lack of terminal punctuation, or with the lack of alphabetizing. Please figure out what is wrong and amend accordingly. Article titles are in quotations, but journal titles are in italics. In addition, the requirement was for three items. Not two.