Revise narrative Essay **Very Easy**

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Hello. I had another tutor write me an essay which i was not pleased with at all. I got a F on the assignment. Please revise this essay and point out what you fix out for me please. I will give you my teachers comments on the essay in quotes. “Please proofread for careless language errors. They are sprinkled throughout the essay — even on the first line! This is rather wordy and kind of dull. There really isn’t much going on here, and the adventure with the Hummer isn’t very clear. You really need to revise this and pay attention to the language used. This is sloppy and not standard English. In order to pass the class, you will need to demonstrate a far greater mastery of standard English. Please make this clearer, more concise, and more correct. Revise.” Please use your best effort to make this essay an A as it should be. Thank you. If you have any questions feel free to ask because I really need this essay perfect. The rubric is posted bellow.

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